Not Another Teen Titans Parody
by sky.davis
Summary: Star Wars has 'Space Balls', Scary movies have 'Scary Movie', Teen Titans has This...
1. Default Chapter

Hiya everyone :o) This story is pretty much just a random parody of the Teen Titans poking fun at the characters, the show and other things. :o) So keep in mind, it's pretty random and don't take anything offensively or anything. It's all in good fun. :o)

I'm gonna make more chapters when I find time. And to those reading Detention or I'd Do Anything, sorry for taking so long to update, I'm still working on it so don't worry :o)

Disclaimer: Don't own it, just make fun of it. :oP

**Mary-Sue. (not my lover, just some girl, who says that I am the one, The kid is not my son--- whoops, oh that Michael Jackson. :oP )**

It was a perfectly quiet and normal day in Titans Tower. Raven was reading because she never has anything better to do and always seems to have her nose stuck in a book. She really is a funny gi-iirrl that Belle! Er… um… I mean Raven.

Cyborg and Beastboy were both glued to the couch, intently playing Gamestation and continuing to argue about Tofu and Meat while doing so.

Starfire and Robin were sitting in awkward sexual tension because Robin was once again suffering from severe emotional constipation and refused to discuss his feelings aloud. While Starfire continued to be innocently naïve and sexy at the same time by asking cute little questions such as the purpose for the M button on her calculator. What was it for? And why would anyone use it?

Then quite suddenly and randomly!

The door swished open and in walked the most beautiful and over developed teenage girl they had ever seen.

She was wearing a revealing yet conservative sexy skintight uniform and looked as though she had flown down from heaven. Her hair was long and flowing and shiny, blowing sexily in non- existent wind. She had a perfect complexion and a sculpted hourglass body.

"Hello Teen Titans," The girl announced gracefully, her feminine voice dripping with perfection. "I am here to help defend the greater good and I wish to join your team." She announced randomly.

Robin nodded, not surprised at all by her sudden random entrance or how she managed to get past their insane security systems. Those were just minor details.

"Huddle!" He announced, and after a few moments the Titans had found out how to form a perfect circle.

"Okay guys, whaddya think?"

"Well, she would make a good addition to the team," Cyborg pointed, because that was what Cyborg said.

"She's hot! Let her join!" Beastboy drooled. Robin nodded in agreement. Starfire and Raven then proceeded to rage in mindless jealousy.

"I agree! Mainly because all of you of the male gender are completely unaware of our mindless seething jealousy and anger of this ludicrous decision and clearly have no desire to consult us 'lesser' members of the team because you all think solely with the appendage covered by your tight spandex pants." Starfire chirped gleefully, her random burst of jealousy gone in the burst of logic.

"What she said." Was all Raven had to say.

"Hey, maybe it's a good idea to find out what the hot chick can do," BB suggested. "And her name… I bet she has a sexy name…"

. The group collectively pondered

"Yeah. Sure. Okay"

Breaking their huddle they turned to the stunningly attractive girl, whose shining sun-kissed, glimmering hair shone and continued to blow in non- existent wind. Her beautiful eyes shone brilliant colors and angels came down to sing of her perfection. Finally the angelic apparitions departed and Robin stepped forward.

"Okay hot super lady, what can you do?" He questioned gently with uncharacteristic emotion.

BB melted into a puddle of goo with an exclamation that she was "Sooo aawwweeesommeee…"

And Cyborg pointed with awe, "She _would_ be a good addition to the team!" Even though the aforesaid, 'hot super lady' had yet to say anything about her powers.

"Why friendly Titans," She said, her voice tinkling like the chiming of silver angelic bells. "My powers are as follows," She flipped her perfect hair in slow motion before continuing.

"I have super strength and agility. I can produce unbreakable force fields, turn invisible, control water of course, shoot fire and ice balls. I know karate and various forms of jujitsu and tae kwon do and have X-ray heat vision. I can also teleport, read minds…"

**A few hours later…**

"I can also stretch my body like rubber, take on another shape and fly too… how could I forget that one," She laughed good naturedly, and all the Titans did as well because she was just so witty and funny. "I also have super intelligence …"

**Even more hours later…**

"And to conclude, I can understand members of the opposite sex and I also have very good grammar and am flawless in everyway." She concluded with another beautiful feminine laugh and beautiful smile showing her perfect, strait, sparkling white teeth that belonged in an Orbit gum commercial because they were just _Fabulous_.

"Hmm… I don't know…" Robin mused, despite the fact he had been drooling over her mere hours ago.

"I also can smash empty beer cans on my forehead and can un-wrap a Starburst in my mouth in a very sexy way."

"She's in! Er… I mean, Titans huddle!" Robin announced in his leader voice.

"Okay guys, despite the fact she is highly random and suspicious and practically invincible, I can't help but think with my pants on this one and let her join." He turned to Starfire whom was bawling uncontrollably. "I'm sorry Starfire, but her rack is clearly larger and she has useful and amusing party tricks. So despite my feelings for you that have run through the entire time I've known you I'm afraid this love is much stronger… I hope you understand."

"That is okay friend Robin," Starfire announced, no longer bawling. "I shall proceed to play the part of jealous, raging wee-atch, is the term I believe, and proceed to make the angelic new member look more perfect in my obvious imperfection."

"Glad to hear it," Robin announced.

"I'll continue to show my distrust and animosity toward her yet at the same time secretly marvel at her perfection," Raven announced.

"After the huddle I'm gonna duel Robin in a full on chick fight to win the hot chicks affections," BB announced. Robin nodded calmly hand on his chin.

"And I still think that she'd make a good addition to the team."

"Did we cover it all?" Robin questioned. Everyone pondered before responding with various words of agreement.

The Titan's broke the huddle.

"Oh joyous new friend—" Starfire began, before biting her lip, "That is, I mean to say, you are an odious, conniving gremplork! And your distasteful ways irk me to no end!"

"Welcome to the team!" All the boys announced gleefully, pushing each other trying to give her the famed, Teen Titans communinicatior.

"You're not part of this team and you never will be!" Raven exclaimed angrily just to make the newcomer look to be the innocent receiver of her wily, raging and unpredictable emotions.

After a few moments of silence…

"So… do you have a name?" Beastboy questioned.

"Yes," The hot super lady replied breathlessly, because her voice sounded so much sexier that way, "It is, Mary- Sue," She announced dramatically with a flip of her shining tendrils (which is a fancy more eloquent word for hair. Why did I not just say hair you ask? Because Mary-Sue deserves the best damnit!).

The male Titans seemed let down. Mary-Sue noticed because she was just so darn observant.

"What?" She questioned.

"Nothing," Robin responded, "Just kind of a let down is all… I was expecting something slightly more…exotic. You know, like Elizabeth or Jennifer…"

"Yes well…" Mary- Sue huffed.

"Or something ridiculously long and difficult to spell. Or something French!" Beastboy added.

"Yes… something along the lines of… 'Conniving, atrocious, sickening, too perfect to be real, fake, odious, revolting, distasteful, grempork, evil zarbnarfian, man thief,'" Star added with a sweet innocent smile.

"Or that," Beastboy consented.

"Are you sure that's not just the jealousy talking," Robin commented waggling his brows.

Star slapped him and Robin flew into the wall on the other side of the room.

"OW!!!"

It was silent.

"I expected you to feel that way Starfire," Mary-Sue sighed, "After all, after my kind and loving parents died when I was three and when I was sold into the bonds of slavery. I expected to be treated this way."

"I mean, ever since I was physically, mentally, sexually, and spiritually abused by slave-owners and my evil uncles and other various relativesI knew this world was destined to hate me. After all my painful childhood experiences of watching three of my best friends get terminal illnesses and die in my arms, and watching every single loving person in my life get killed off right after I met them. And Count Olaf always trying to steal my family fortune... Okay, maybe not that but still..."

"Dear God..." Robin announced.

"Don't worry, I'm okay now," Mary-Sue chirped cheerfully, "I was able to quickly forget my horrible, horrible past, and am quite cheery and flirty, but if I ever need to make a dramatic scene I can always call back on my horrible memories." Mary-Sue grinned.

"I feel like I'm watching some tearjerking chick flick... terminal illnesses, abuse, best friends dying... all we need is Bette Midler and we're all set..." Beastboy commented.

"Well... your life sure sucks..." Raven commented dryly.

Mary-Sue sniffed.

"Yes I know..."

It was silent for a moment.

"Oh dear! Acute, perfect and flawless- in -every –way, senses tingling!" The random, perfect chick announced in a breathless and sexy way. Groaning while holding her head.

"What is it?!"

"It's _Slade_!" She announced dramatically, with a flip of her shining hair.

"Uhh… didn't we, you know, kill him?"

"Fool! You do not argue with the plot holes! He is alive and seeks revenge! For you see, I am his long lost sisters niece! I thwarted his evil plans and he has been searching for me ever since!"

"Gasp!" Everyone exclaimed.

"Don't worry, super hot related to Slade chick," Robin announced hand on her shoulder, he had somehow recovered quickly from Star's slap, "We _will_ stop him! And I _will_ protect you at all costs" Starfire let out a small sob. Robin then proceeded to go for a passionate kiss.

"No! Robin, I—" She started, turning away from the masked hero with tears in her eyes, "We can't, for you see, I am your long lost sister!" She exclaimed, desperately.

"_Damnit_!" Robin growled, "I hate it when this happens! I _knew_ there was a striking resemblance between us!"

"Ha! Now I get to make out with your hot sister!" BB gloated.

"Well, Star, looks like I'm desperately in love with you again." Robin shrugged. "Wanna make out?"

"Though I should decline and annihilate you into oblivion for being such an atrocious, a-hole, I believe is the Earth term…I shall instead play the role of the typical fan fiction woman and take you back without second thought because I cannot live a single day without you!"

"Oh Star," The two proceed to make out.

"Wait what about Slade?" BB announced.

"Well… he would make a good addition to the team…" Cyborg responded, BB nodded in somber agreement.

**OOO**

That's all the randomness for now folks. Hope you enjoyed! :o)

Ree—view, dood le doo, Ree-view :o)


	2. No Capes!

Hiya everyone! :o) That's right more randomness and Titan fun!

Disclaimer: I don't own the Teen Titans. If I did, that would be pretty darn cool… pretty darn cool…

Anyhow, once again, this is all in good fun, please don't take anything offensively or anything.

**No Capes!**

BEEP BEEP BEEP.

The alarm in the completely inconspicuous giant metal letter T sounded.

"It's Slade!" Beastboy announced. Robin tapped him on the shoulder, "What?"

"What are you doing? You know I'm the only one allowed to say his name,"

"What?" Beastboy questioned. Robin rolled his eyes.

"I say his name the coolest, therefore, only I am allowed to announce his presence," Robin informed, then as though the alarm had just sounded he ran toward the computer.

"It's _Slade_," He announced, looking so cool with his angry narrowed eyes and the cool way the word "Slade" rolled off his tongue, with the long 'sl' and hard quick 'ade'.

"You're right, you say it _way_ cooler…" Beastboy said in awe.

"Told you,"

"What shall we proceed and commence to inaugurate at this present moment in the space time continuum?" Starfire questioned with un- necessarily obscure words that were gratuitously supplemented.

"Mary-Sue! What do we do?!" Beastboy questioned frantically.

"Yes sister! What's our course of action," Robin added.

"I still hate you," Raven commented.

"Yes! I concur with friend Raven!" Starfire announced.

Suddenly!!!

A buzzing went off and soon a catchy cell phone ring rang through the air. Mary-Sue reached into her sparking designer purse and pulled out the most expensive, fancy cell phone money could buy.

"Hello," She announced in her perfect voice, "Yes Mr. President… Yes… I understand… Yes the Prime Minister will be in good hands… Yes, you too… I'm on my way!" Mary-Sue then gracefully hung up the phone.

"I am sorry fellow Titans, but duty calls elsewhere. I must rescue the Prime Minister again,"

The male Titans burst into manly sobs.

"Sister…" Robin cried.

"Really hot chick…" Beastboy sobbed.

"Nooo!!! You can't leave!!" Cyborg came running into the room, as he was missing but he still somehow heard the horrible, horrible news,

"Without you I am nothing!!" He cried pathetically, "As an original character you are my only hope for getting a girlfriend that isn't my car!! Nooooo!!!"

Cyborg cried hanging onto Mary-Sue until she teleported away in a splash of falling glitter and confetti that fell on him.

"Who's that guy?" Robin whispered.

Everyone else shrugged.

"Oh, wait, isn't he that single guy? The metal one that lives with us and eats meat?" Beastboy answered.

"Oh yeah…" Everyone else said.

"Wait! His name is Cyborg is it not? The one madly in love with Jynx our nemesis!" Starfire exclaimed.

"That rings a bell," Raven scratched her chin.

Cyborg groaned.

"For the last time!! It was just a crush!!" Cyborg defended growling, he fell to his knees crying to the heavens, "Damn you Bumblebee! Damn yoouuuuu!!!!!"

"I know you ain't talkin' like that about me! I will walk up and down yo' ass!!" Bumblebee shouted from somewhere to the East.

Cyborg hit his head.

"Well anyway," Robin picked up, "Titan's, and you too single metal guy, GO!!"

And with that the Titan's and that one single metal guy, who may or may not have had a part in the Wizard of Oz, ran out the door to fight!

**Insert Cheesy music and Swirling Teen Titans Logo.**

Cinderblock, who may or may not have had a previous part in Hercules, was currently randomly smashing stuff and doing other illegal criminal activities, such as stepping on grass, with signs that clearly stated, "Keep off grass,"

The Titan's then appeared on a shining hill, Robin in the front looking so cool, with his flowing cape and smirk.

Until…

"You!!" The Titans turned to see a small Asian woman with large coke bottle glasses approaching.

"No Capes!!" She cried, ripping off Robin's oh so cool cape, and proceeded to take off Ravens.

"Umm…"

"That is all, good luck dah-links!" The woman, who may or may not have appeared in an incredible movie about a dysfunctional super family responded, walking away with Robin and Raven's capes.

"Okay…" Was all Raven had to say feeling bare in her leotard. "I suppose a cloak would count as a cape…"

"Leotards are hot…" Beastboy drooled staring at Raven. Raven slapped him. "OW! Dude, who said anything about you? I was talkin' about your stupid leo—" Slap, "OW!!! RAVEN!!"

"Ahem! Titans!" The now cape-less Robin announced. "And you too metal guy," Robin nodded.

"This is whack," Cyborg put his head in his hands, "I have a name!!"

Robin ignored him and pointed to the city which was being destroyed.

"Despite the fact I am now missing my sexy cape thanks to that short chick who's name may or may not have been Edna Mode, We must fight!" He held a finger triumphantly in the air.

Cinderblock stopped destroying the city momentarily to allow Robin to say his mandatory witty pun.

Time stopped as Robin stood on the hill finger raised in the air, the sun gleaming brilliantly in the backround for dramatic effect.

"Uhh…" Robin scratched his head, muttering under his breath… "Erm…"

"Dude, your mega witty line that is usually just as corny as my jokes but no one ever gives you any flack for it, is supposed to be said now." Beastboy whispered.

"Er right…" Robin cleared his throat. "Cinderblock!" Robin pointed at him, "You—um… oh damn… Yeah I've got nothin'…" Robin muttered.

"Oh no! The cape must have been Robin's source of superior wit! What shall we do?!"

"Actually Star, I really just can't think of anything…" Robin shrugged, "I mean, what can you say to a giant rock that's—GASP!" Robin gasped as a lightbulb shown brilliantly above his head.

"Ha!" Robin pointed dramatically at Cinderblock, "We will _rock_ you! You…big…ahem..rock… get it? 'Rock you' cause he's a _rock,_"

"And they say I'm bad…" Beastboy announced rolling his eyes.

"Shut up!" Robin snapped, "Teen Titan's GO!!" Robin commanded.

And 'GO' they did.

Except for Raven and Starfire, who had for some reason, lost their powers and became completely vulnerable and helpless, went careening down the soft grassy hill to their doom.

"STTAAAARRRRFIIIIIRRRREEEEE!!!" Robin yelled all helpless and dramatic like, using his birdarang grappling hook thing as he ran and jumped in slow motion to save her.

"Um…" Beastboy stood their stupidly for a moment before turning to Cyborg, "Hey can you uh, take care of that while I hasten all to save my foil, complete opposite and one true love," Beastboy jerked his thumb to the area where Raven and Starfire had fallen.

"Fine…" Cyborg sighed.

"Thanks dude," Beastboy gave him the thumbs up.

"STTAAARRRFII--- oh damnit… I mean, RAAAAVVEEEENNNN!!" Beastboy cried as he began tumbling down the hill as well.

Cyborg looked down the hill, to the left, to the right, and up toward the sky. Finally looking back at Cinderblock.

"Prepare to be vanquished heathen!!" Cyborg shouted pointing fiercely at Cinderblock, "Hot damn, That sounded kick ass!" Cyborg grinned to himself and began charging his sonic cannon.

**A whole bunch of exciting fighting and stuff later…**

"Okay, it was romantic and pretty cool the first forty- six times, but for cryin' out loud Raven, it's only the first five minutes of battle and I've had to save you at least forty-eight times in dramatic and selfless acts of undying love," Beastboy announced, none too gracefully dropping a pathetically vulnerable Raven to the curb.

"You know what Beastboy, when you go and say stuff like that it just… it hurts… right here," Raven put her hand to her heart with tears glistening in her eyes.

Nearby a lightbulb and or lamp exploded because whenever Raven was the slightest bit emotional, those were the only two things that ever exploded.

"Don't tell me you're gonna go on one of these fits again because I said something stupid," Beastboy groaned, "I thought you had better control,"

"It's not my fault I have to act like this to get you to realize your deeply hidden and rooted feelings for me!" Raven sobbed, exploding another lightbulb and or lamb. "I'm going to go throw myself off the Tower again because I'm just so shattered over this ordeal!"

"Fine by me!" Beastboy shouted.

Another light bulb and or lamp exploded. And Raven began stomping off.

"Raven!" Beastboy called after her. She turned, "I'll be around to save you and say something completely sweet and heartwarming in a few,"

"Same time as yesterday?"

"Yeah, maybe later cause I'm kinda hungry, so maybe don't hurl yourself over until like, say five til seven?"

"That sounds good. I can work with that," Raven nodded.

"Awesome, so dramatic make out scene on the roof at seven?" Beastboy questioned.

"No!" Starfire yelled as Robin was saving her helpless form. "Robin and I are scheduled at seven! Please, not until seven o five, I think five minutes is enough time for Robin to get over his emotional angst and confess his undying love to me and then blissfully kiss me."

"Star," Raven reprimanded, "You know you're supposed to schedule this ahead of time,"

"Yeah Star, the roof is the only place where romantic confessions can take place in this whole city, ergo, one must make an appointment. I mean we can't all go up at the same time," Beastboy added.

"I am sorry," Starfire hung her head from her vulnerable position in Robin's arms.

"S'okay," Beastboy and Raven answered.

"Hell—ooooo! Did ya'll forget about me again?! Just because I'm single doesn't mean you have to forget about me!" That one half metal guy on the show shouted, whose name may or may not have been something like Cy-George.

"Hey who's that guy?" Robin commented.

"Um…"

Cy-George, half metal guy, groaned putting his face in his hands.

"Man…"

**OOO.**

May I just say to all those who reviewed, you guys ROCK! :oD Ha, rock… oh that Robin…

Anyhow, let me know what you think! Review!


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